The Roxbottoms should schedule a Defeatist Dick Bobblehead Night to commemorate the franchise’s forthcoming 1,400th loss during the 15-season reign of terrible by the co-owner, managing general partner, chairman and permanent chief executive officer.

No other Major League Baseball team has anguished through as many defeats from 2011-2025 as Our Own Dusty Old Cowtown Club under the leadership of Richard Monfort.

Dick’s miniature doll would be clothed in a clown costume and given out free to the first 2,800 fans (signifying the approaching number of losses in the club’s history since 1993) who party in the Dreck Deck high atop right field.

Maybe Monfort will even show his face for a rare time in the box seats behind the Roxbottoms dugout.

An appropriate event evening would be Saturday, Sept. 13 in the series as the Padres return to Coors Field for the first time since May when the Roxbottoms were knuckle-knocked 21-0 in their eighth straight setback. By that date the humiliated homies will have lost more than 110 games in their record-smashing season.

Monfort also should be acknowledged as the guest of honor Aug. 9-10 at the LoDo ballpark when the Savannah Bananas play before SRO crowds. Tickets on the secondary StubHub site are selling for $237-$623. The Bananas have more appeal than the Roxbottoms and do not have to hold a Fireworks Night to draw a crowd.

But, wait. Breaking news!

The Rockies prevailed five of seven times after the All-Star Game prior to Saturday night in Baltimore. Is the March-April-May-June Swoon ending, and are they amid a Rox Rally Run? A jumping July, No Lie? Will Rock ‘N Roll bring back thousands of enthusiasts for the two Hot Dog Nights and the Lunch Bag Bonanza, the tribute to the Grateful Dead instead of the Ungrateful Dread embarrassment of the Roxbottoms for the first 100 games?

Can beach towels pack the park? Rox to the rescue? They only have to win 49 straight games to reach .500. Will the franchise leave the outhouse and Monfort come out of his penthouse high above Coors Field?

First, though, is the baseball trade deadline Thursday at 2 p.m. Colorado time.

GM Bill Schmidt does a rare deal by sending Ryan McMahon to the Yankees for a pair of minor-league pitchers — left-hander Griffin Herring, rated New York’s No. 8 prospect – and right-hander Josh Grosz, who was ranked 21st in the system. (They can’t be happy joining the worst organization ever). No red Herring or gross Grosz here.

Griffin, a reliever on the LSU championship team, was picked in the sixth round. He has a quirky throwing style and will not overwhelm anybody with his fast ball (94 mph tops), but has proven himself as a potential reliever with a sneaky slider. Grosz, chosen in the 11th round two years ago out of East Carolina, is a possible starter with good, but not challenging, speed.

The Roxbottoms are loading up again on pitchers by drafting 14, including 11 right-handers. With the two additions, eight of the club’s 20 top prospects in the minors are moundsmen.

However, the organization is most optimistic about position players Charlie Condon, Kyle Karros (who is rising fast), Ryan Ritter (who already has risen to the majors), good ol’ Zac Veen and, of course, the recent No. 4 overall pick in the amateur draft – Ethan Holliday.

Colorado could have 20-somethings at every place on the field soon. But both a special starting rotation and a sterling staff in the bullpen will continue to be a work in progress or, as in the past, regress.

In the meantime, the Roxbottoms still suffer, flop, flail and fall flat.

The onus is not on the most faithful followers, but the onus is on the owner and his lackeys – and a lack of brilliant baseball brains.

Before Thursday they should be getting rid of the 30-somethings, which means six or seven pitchers (but not Kyle Freeland, the only one who actually cares and wants his home city to succeed), a catcher and two infielders. Schmidt has to trade for more potential pitchers or pound sand.

And Delusional Dick, the dunce who signed Kris Bryant to a ludicrous seven-year contract, must dump the chump now.

Monfort, stop being the Roxbottoms Bobblehead.