When was the last time a song stuck in your mind? When you hear the melody repeating over and over throughout the day? Sometimes, a similar thing happens when I read something unusual in the news.

For days or weeks, it crosses my mind. That was the case recently, after I read Nicholas Kristof’s editorial essay in the New York Times titled, “How can you hate me when you don’t even know me?”

Kristoff writes about Darryl Davis, a talented Black blues musician who has played with the likes of Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee Lewis and B.B. King. As a child, Davis’ family lived in several different countries and moved often because of his father’s career as an officer with the Department of State’s Foreign Service. He went to school with kids whose racial and cultural background was very different from his own and had lots of friends who spoke languages other than English. For Davis, diversity was the norm growing up.

At age 10, his family moved back to the United States and he attended school in Belmont, Mass., a suburb of Boston. He joined the Cub Scouts and realized he was the only Black kid in the troop. One time, Davis was carrying the flag with his Scout troop in a local parade when he was pelted with rocks and bottles thrown from people in the crowd. At that moment, the pack leaders surrounded him and protected him. Later on, he told his father that he just didn’t understand why such a thing could have happened. This incident became a catalyst for his lifelong interest in the origins of racism.

Davis graduated from Howard University with a degree in music, was a member of the University’s Choir and Jazz Vocal Ensemble and pursued his passion for the performing arts. He headed up arts organizations and played in jazz and blues bars with many well-known musicians. One night he was playing in an all-white bar in Maryland when a patron came up to him and said it was the first time he had heard a Black musician as good as Jerry Lee Lewis. Davis explained that Lewis had learned to play from Black blues and boogie woogie piano players. In fact, Lewis was a personal friend of Davis.

Over time, Davis and the white patron became acquaintances and one night at the bar, the patron revealed that he was a member of the Ku Klux Klan. Their conversations deepened as each of the two openly talked about their beliefs. Ultimately, the patron left the KKK.

Davis’ philosophy is to listen rather than confront, to engage in dialogue rather than antagonism. Years later, Davis decided that he wanted to interview KKK members and write a book about the KKK. His central question arose from his childhood experience in the Boy Scout parade, “Why do you hate me when you know nothing about me?” He met with Roger Kelly who at the time was the Imperial Wizard of the KKK in Maryland. The two men became friends, and when Kelly left the Klan, he gave his KKK robe to Davis. Over many years, Davis continued to meet members of the Klan, talking with them and quietly challenging their beliefs and how they came to understand Black Americans. By 2016, he said he had received over 25 KKK robes given to him by former Klan members, and estimates that he has persuaded over 200 people to leave extremist groups such as the KKK.

According to New York Times writer Kristof, Davis said, “If I can sit down and talk to KKK members and neo-Nazis and get them to give me their robes and hoods and swastika flags and all that kind of crazy stuff, there’s no reason why somebody can’t sit down at a dinner table and talk to their family member.” That’s what stuck in my mind after reading about Davis. He serves as a remarkable example of the desire to understand others who are different in their upbringing, their values, and their perspective.

Should we let politics divide or unite us? Or can we genuinely create dialogue with those whose viewpoints are different from our own? It’s up to each of us to choose.

Julie Richman is a freelance writer, project manager and consultant. She and her family have lived on Colorado Springs’ northeast side for 23 years. Contact Julie with comments or ideas for her column at woodmennotes@pikespeaknewspapers.com.