Great estates have names like Tara or the Biltmore.

I called my haven on a wooded Colorado lot Peckerwood.

Before you go there, this was NOT a description of the resident. I named it that because it was infested with woodpeckers.

The constant hammering made it sound like a construction site. Or Santa’s workshop. Or one of my kids practicing the drums in the attic.

Initially, I would stick my head out the window and shout at them. When that didn’t yield results, I got a yardstick, leaned out the second-story window and tried to swat at them. That quickly proved to be dangerous and I’m not sure my insurance would pay the claim if I injured myself flailing at birds.

I briefly considered a BB gun. That idea was quickly dismissed because I’m pretty sure it would be illegal and the supply of birds seemed to be inexhaustible. Plus, the neighbors would likely have called the police if they saw me stomping around taking potshots at my house.

Flustered, I sought expert advice.

“Trying to drive woodpeckers away involves using visual repellents and loud noises,” the Colorado Parks and Wildlife website says. “Attempting to scare them off requires immediate action because woodpeckers are persistent once a territory or pecking site is established.”

When it comes to the loud noises, one of the site’s tips was to play the woodpeckers’ game.

“In some cases, woodpeckers are frightened away by persistent loud noises such as banging pots and pans together, firing toy cap guns or yelling.”

The key words there are “in some cases.” I made loud noises. These birds were not impressed.

The site also suggests making life-sized hawk mobiles and hanging them from the eaves. Other visual methods include hanging plastic strips, mirrors, pinwheels or aluminum pie tins.

Then go buy some beads to toss to passers-by, because they’re going to assume you’re celebrating Mardi Gras.

Another suggestion made by CPW is to build the woodpeckers a nesting box to give them a better option than your siding. That seemed a lot like trying to get rid of a persistent freeloader by building them their own dining room.

In the end, I called a pest control service. They filled the nesting holes and sprayed the house with a woodpecker repellant. It took three applications, but the woodpeckers finally flew on to other options.

And I was forced to rename my estate.