It takes a village.

I firmly believe we need each other even when we don’t want to admit it or feel squirmy asking for help. I’m still not the best at asking for help, but I’m inching in the direction of asking for and welcoming it.

This wasn’t the case a few years ago.

A few years ago, I took my son to a cafe in the Lincoln Center. He was a little tyke back then, and my memory was impaired from lack of sleep.

After I ordered him a smoothie at the counter, I dug for my wallet in my bag. I couldn’t find it. I was mortified.

But then, a woman behind me offered to pay for the smoothie. I was even more embarrassed, and I refused to receive her kind gesture, and we promptly left.

The woman had said something like, “Come on mom, just accept it.”

I remember feeling a sense of shame after the interaction. I felt chastised for not taking her help, but I just couldn’t do it.

Why is that?

I’m not sure I have the answer other than we live in a culture that values independence over interdependence.

I was taught to help others however I can, but I wasn’t taught to receive others’ help in the same way.

I can think of many other times when I cringed at asking for help. When it was given, I didn’t enjoy it. Instead, I felt bad about it, embarrassed, and even unworthy of it.

I’m not sure I can pinpoint when things changed for me, but asking for help doesn’t have the same loaded quality as it did before.

Just this morning, I called my next-door neighbor to see if she had any coke on hand because I needed some for the crock pot roast I was prepping. She was happy to help as she always is with most things. She likes being asked.

That’s probably part of why it’s easier for me to ask. I’ve gotten practice over the last 11-plus years leaning on various neighbors in the wonderful village that is my neighborhood.

But, I’ve realized not everyone is getting better at asking for and receiving help. The same neighbor mentioned she recently ran out of salt but didn’t ask me if I had any.

Another friend looked like she was going to crawl inside herself because I said I would make her food after she has major surgery.

We have got to change this pattern of not asking for help and not being open to receiving. As I told my neighbor this morning, it makes me feel useful to be asked to help.

As humans, we need to contribute.

And we’ll sleep better at night if we know we have people we can count on when we need them.

Joanna Zaremba is a writer, yoga teacher, and movement and mindset coach. She gives her clients the tools they need to feel good, so they can do what matters. She has lived in the Pikes Peak Region since 2011 and can be reached at www.joannazaremba.com

It takes a village.

I firmly believe we need each other even when we don’t want to admit it or feel squirmy asking for help. I’m still not the best at asking for help, but I’m inching in the direction of asking for and welcoming it.

This wasn’t the case a few years ago.

A few years ago, I took my son to a cafe in the Lincoln Center. He was a little tyke back then, and my memory was impaired from lack of sleep.

After I ordered him a smoothie at the counter, I dug for my wallet in my bag. I couldn’t find it. I was mortified.

But then, a woman behind me offered to pay for the smoothie. I was even more embarrassed, and I refused to receive her kind gesture, and we promptly left.

The woman had said something like, “Come on mom, just accept it.”

I remember feeling a sense of shame after the interaction. I felt chastised for not taking her help, but I just couldn’t do it.

Why is that?

I’m not sure I have the answer other than we live in a culture that values independence over interdependence.

I was taught to help others however I can, but I wasn’t taught to receive others’ help in the same way.

I can think of many other times when I cringed at asking for help. When it was given, I didn’t enjoy it. Instead, I felt bad about it, embarrassed, and even unworthy of it.

I’m not sure I can pinpoint when things changed for me, but asking for help doesn’t have the same loaded quality as it did before.

Just this morning, I called my next-door neighbor to see if she had any coke on hand because I needed some for the crock pot roast I was prepping. She was happy to help as she always is with most things. She likes being asked.

That’s probably part of why it’s easier for me to ask. I’ve gotten practice over the last 11-plus years leaning on various neighbors in the wonderful village that is my neighborhood.

But, I’ve realized not everyone is getting better at asking for and receiving help. The same neighbor mentioned she recently ran out of salt but didn’t ask me if I had any.

Another friend looked like she was going to crawl inside herself because I said I would make her food after she has major surgery.

We have got to change this pattern of not asking for help and not being open to receiving. As I told my neighbor this morning, it makes me feel useful to be asked to help.

As humans, we need to contribute.

And we’ll sleep better at night if we know we have people we can count on when we need them.

Joanna Zaremba is a writer, yoga teacher, and movement and mindset coach. She gives her clients the tools they need to feel good, so they can do what matters. She has lived in the Pikes Peak Region since 2011 and can be reached at www.joannazaremba.com