Dusting off their old fire wagons and rolling ‘em out of the barn, the Avalanche and Wild played classic 1980s hockey that got up and danced like Michael Jackson. 

The Avs won a Thriller.

Their 9-6 victory was a Sunday night tribute to the greatness of Wayne Gretzky and a throwback to the sport’s golden age.

For those of you at home who had trouble keeping up with all the scores, Colorado defenseman Cale Makar scored a touchdown and teammate Nazem Kadri drained a 3-point jumper from beyond the arc.

“Helter-skelter,” Minnesota coach John Hynes said.

Words escaped Avs coach Jared Bednar to explain what he just saw. The script to this one made no sense.

Or as Makar so aptly put it: “Weird.”

But if this goalapalooza was any indication of where this best-of-seven playoff series is headed, sign me up for six more of these goalfests, a bottomless plate of nachos and a case of Surly Furious IPA.

Please. And thanks.

“I can’t even remember all the goals against at this point,” Bednar said. “I can’t even remember who scored all our goals, there were so many of them.”

The NHL cranked up the Stanley Cup Final a month early, and there will be blood.

In fact, the maintenance crew at Ball Arena has already been required to scrape blood off the ice. Game 1 wasn’t half over when Avs defenseman Sam Malinski made a plasma donation from one end of the rink to the other before checking in with the trainer on the Colorado bench.

“Puck to the face,” said Malinski, whose lip appeared to be held together by staples.

This is going to be a hockey war with championship stakes.

Shots fired! Shots fired!

No lead was safe. Colorado got the joint jumping by going up 3-0 in a little more than 13 minutes of the opening period, only to see Minnesota go wild and come howlin’ back to push ahead 5-4 late in the second period.

“We pushed back. We came back,” Hynes said. “That’s who we are.”

Colorado goalie Scott Wedgewood and Minnesota counterpart Jesper Wallstedt unwittingly reenacted the 1950s comedy sketch of Lucy and Ethel at the candy factory. They were overwhelmed by more pucks than any two grown men can eat.

All those biscuits in the basket could make any goalie a head case.

On this full-tilt Bozo night, it sometimes seemed half of Wedgewood’s job was getting up from between the pipes to turn off that darn lamp annoyingly and repeatedly lit behind his goal.

“It’s just understanding this is a 60-minute game. If the score is 5-5 with five (minutes) to go in the second period, there’s still a lot of hockey left. Lot of opportunity for your team to win,” Wedgewood said.

“Bounces happen. Situations happen … Over the years, there have been a lot of crazy situations and crazy games. You’ve just got to shake it, emotionally react to it, toss it away and go about your business.”

No offense to any of those fine hockey towns from Montreal to Raleigh, but y’all are playing for second place. The two best teams in the league right now were on the ice in Denver.

This was the most skill I’ve witnessed in the same rink since returning from the Winter Olympics in Italy. Between the Avs and Wild, from Nathan MacKinnon to Quinn Hughes, there were 13 players who represented their country at the Games. And with apologies to Kirill Kaprizov, Minnesota would’ve had another marquee star on the ice in Milan if Russian athletes didn’t have such a nasty habit of cheating the Olympic rules of fair play.

The second-round series began with a bang when Minnesota grinder Marcus Foligno mucked up Makar against the boards before the rowdy puckheads in the crowd could slam a beer.

He went to the locker room, checked to make certain all his limbs were still attached and did what hockey players do naturally when hurt: Rub some ice shavings on it and skate on.

“There’s not too many guys this time of year who are not playing hurt,” Bednar said. “That’s what makes the playoffs great. That is what’s expected. It’s not a one-off.”

In the third period, Makar grabbed the wheel of the fire wagon and ran the Wild into the ditch.

He scored what proved to be the game-winner early in the final frame and added an insurance goal late. He doesn’t need another stinkin’ Norris Trophy to prove himself as the best defenseman on the planet.

“That was Cale Makar,” Avalanche captain Gabe Landeskog said, “doing Cale Makar things.”