What makes a life sweet?

I pondered this recently. And then I considered the five basic flavors as a whole: sweet, sour, salty, bitter and savory (umami).

What if we lived our lives with these five flavors in mind?

The more you incorporate the five tastes into your diet, the more nutritionally balanced and satisfying it will be, says the Center for Nutrition Studies.

What if we thought of the moments of our lives in terms of the five flavors, and consider that we need a bit of each for a rich and satisfying life?

Humans cannot live on sweetness alone, much as we might think we’d like to. Bananas, carrots, corn, sugar, honey, cake, biscuits. Sweet foods all day long might sound ideal, but too much and you start longing for the crunch of a bitter arugula salad, a salty scrambled egg, a sour pickle.

Living our days with sweetness is a simple conceit: laughter, ice cream on the deck, kind gestures, good listening, good sharing, passing out compliments, accepting compliments, Popsicles under the summer stars, easily telling people you love them or like them, because that’s maybe even better to hear.

It’s an easy, peaceful 80 or 90 years with no sharp turns or sinkholes, just straightaways that take us into a candy-colored sunset. No treachery, no betrayal, no terminal diagnoses, just sweet layers of a custard trifle.

But would that be boring or wonderful? I’m not sure. It doesn’t matter, as we all know this isn’t reality. Sweetness is a fine place to start, though. It’s good to locate the sweetness in your days, even when they seem filled with the bitter and sour flavors of life, of which we all must sup.

When the bitter does arrive, we must acknowledge its presence and also realize that the sharpness of the moment, the kale and dark chocolate of the moment, won’t stick to our taste buds forever. They will dissipate with time, distance, therapy, good friends and returning to the sweet spots of life.

It’s ironic how good bitter foods are for us and how delicious they are, though, of course, many are an acquired taste. Arugula, collard greens, broccoli rabe, Brussels sprouts, artichokes, coffee, grapefruit, cranberries.

I do not purport to say we should welcome and embrace life’s tragedies, as they can be so heartrending we don’t know how we’ll go on. But I do know these open wounds can also make us more empathic and compassionate and teach us a great deal, even when they are lessons we never wanted. Bitter better helps us appreciate the sweetness.

And into every life must trickle some sour: vinegar, sauerkraut, lemons, limes, pickles, sourdough bread. This particular flavor can pick us up by the taste buds and shake us. Wake us up. And don’t we need a good wake-up call sometimes? When our days are monotonous, when the doldrums set in, when we just can’t face brushing our teeth or washing our hair for the millionth time.

We must learn to appreciate a sour note here and there, and the way it startles us, like the surprising end of something, such as a relationship or job, which leads to a new start, a new life, a new season of life. If we know nothing else, it’s that change comes for us all, often unbidden.

Each flavor touches the tongue differently. Sometimes salty is the best of all. That crispness on your tongue. Maybe the salty is when we say how we really feel after years of not. Soy sauce, pretzels, bacon, hard cheeses, processed meats, olives. That zing on your tongue can operate as a call to action. Funny that salty is now a slang word meaning grumpy, agitated or resentful.

Salty arises when our boundaries have been crossed – someone used your recipe without giving you credit, yet again, or your mother-in-law made a comment about your child, and a fire is lit within. You stand up for yourself after years of being wishy-washy. Salty is brash and in your face, and sometimes we need that push. Salty is anger, and anger isn’t bad. We are allowed to be angry. It’s an emotion, just like the rest of them. It’s what you do with it that matters, and sometimes it signals something needs to change.

And finally, umami, that savoriness. Anchovies, sardines, miso, aged Parmesan cheese, walnuts, mushrooms, kimchi and sauerkraut. Here is the richness of life, more nuanced than sweetness. The hard, but productive, conversation. A challenge pursued and met. The fullness of a long-anticipated vacation. The relief in coming to a difficult decision. Making the hard choice.

Rich, filling, substantial, these are the moments to be savored, that make doing this challenging thing called living worth it.