All I want for Christmas is to get Bruce Brown and Kevin Durant together under the mistletoe and see who gets popped in the kisser first.

“As a man, there are certain things you don’t say to another man,” Brown said Saturday, after a holiday gathering between the Nuggets and Rockets, when no gifts were exchanged, but words not suitable for church most definitely were uttered by these Western Conference rivals.

The Rockets won 115-101 in a game as ugly as that Rudolph sweater knitted by your Aunt Mabel.

And if you ask Durant, he also won the argument in his constant chippy skirmishes with Brown.

“I definitely wanted to cross the line,” Durant said.

Apologetic for barking some old-school hoops shizzle and perhaps suggesting to a foe that he’s a bum?

Heck no! 

KD was proud of his verbal smackdown of Brown.

“It’s basketball. It’s in between the lines,” Durant said. “Ain’t no respect, ain’t no love, nothing.”

‘Twas four nights before Christmas, and all through the house, Brucey B and KD were yapping, like a bickering husband and spouse.

“It’s part of the game. Some people can talk and play. Some people can’t,” said Durant, whose 31 points reminded us how at age 37, he can still play at his Hall of Fame best. “I had to learn how to talk and play as a player. I think Bruce is probably learning the same thing.”

It all came to a head late in the third quarter, when a layup by Brown over Durant cut the Nuggets’ disadvantage to seven points.

Basketball warriors too obstinate to ever back down stood on the court jawing at each other in a staredown.

Brown clapped in KD’s face. It was on like Donkey Kong.

Two of the feistier dudes in the league continued their debate all the way to center court, until cooler heads stepped in to declare a ceasefire in this war of words.

KD and Brucey B used to be cool. But they’re friends no more.

“I wish there was fighting (in the NBA),” admitted Brown, who attended an Avalanche game in the same arena a night earlier. “I wish we didn’t get fined.”

OK, he’s one tough cowboy. But, c’mon now. Brown wouldn’t really have dropped his gloves and gone after Durant. Would he?

“I would have thought about it,” Brown said.

The Rockets wanted to make this a rasslin’ match. And the Nuggets got pushed around.

In the fourth quarter, watching Nikola Jokic get mugged, coach David Adelman got mad as hell and couldn’t take it anymore.

Knowing full well he had already been hit with one technical foul earlier in the game, Adelman stormed from the Denver bench, seething as he stalked and screamed at referee Tyler Ricks, wondering why Houston was getting away with murder.

“I was confused. So I was just looking for answers. I went out there to find them. And it turns out, I had to leave,” said Adelman, who quickly got bounced from this most acrimonious holiday party.

Folks who like to hate on the NBA whine that the millionaires don’t care until the last five minutes of the fourth quarter.

Well, some nights during the grind of an 82-game schedule, players just want to get their aching legs to the cold tub and the team bus as quickly as possible.

But what we saw between the Nuggets and Rockets on this December afternoon was not only two teams trying to elbow their way out of the mosh pit that is the Western Conference, but paying tribute to the intensity that Magic and Bird brought to the court.

Make no mistake.

Brown wants Durant to know that who gets the last word in this basketbrawl is yet to be determined.

“Can’t wait to see him next time,” Brown said.

Can you imagine how intense it could get if the Nuggets and Rockets met in the playoffs?

KD’s eyes lit up when I asked him how going against Jokic and the Nuggets got his competitive juices flowing.

“Man, I love it. Love it,” Durant replied. “You come in here and play a championship organization with arguably, in my opinion, one of the top 10 or top five players that I’ve ever seen play basketball. That’s how much respect I have for these dudes (in Denver), that I want to get up, bring that energy, bring that fight.”

Durant told me he admires Joker so much, not only because game knows game, but I suspect because he sees a son of a gun as wickedly competitive as KD takes pride in being.

This basketbrawl was an instant holiday classic. Like the movie “Die Hard.”

What was it Bruce Willis liked to say in that flick?

Yippee-ki-yay …

“It might cross the line,” said Durant. “But that’s basketball sometimes.”

This game was chippy and more than a little dirty.

But it was oh-so-filthy good.