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When your child is struggling with questions about their identity, it’s natural to search for answers. As parents, we want to do everything possible to help our children navigate difficult moments. But what happens when the “help” we seek actually causes more harm than good?

The Supreme Court is currently examining this question in Chiles v. Salazar, a landmark case that will determine whether states can continue protecting minors from a practice widely known as “conversion therapy.” As this case unfolds, many families across America, particularly those in faith communities, are learning about conversion therapy for the first time and weighing what it means for their own children.

Understanding What Conversion Therapy Really Is

Conversion therapy refers to any practice attempting to change a young person’s sexual orientation or gender identity. While some practitioners describe it simply as “talk therapy” or “exploratory counseling,” every major medical and mental health organization in the United States has condemned these practices. That includes the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, and the American Medical Association.

Why the unanimous rejection? Decades of research show that conversion therapy doesn’t work and causes significant harm to the young people subjected to it.

The Hidden Impact on Family Relationships

One of the most devastating (and least discussed) consequences of conversion therapy is how it tears apart family bonds. Research from San Francisco State University’s Family Acceptance Project found that more than half (53%) of young adults reported experiencing attempts to change their identity during their teenage years, either by parents directly or through therapists and religious leaders.

The outcomes were sobering. Young adults who went through these interventions showed:

• More than double the rate of suicide attempts (48% compared to 22% among peers who didn’t experience conversion efforts)
• Higher rates of depression (33% versus 16%)
• Lower levels of self-esteem and life satisfaction
• Reduced educational attainment and lower income in adulthood

Perhaps most heartbreaking is how conversion therapy often damages the parent-child relationship itself.

Many practitioners employ techniques that actually blame parents for their child’s identity, suggesting that “dad is too effeminate” or “mom doesn’t fit traditional roles.” Rather than strengthening families, these approaches create resentment, mistrust, and wounds that can take years (sometimes decades) to heal.

The Financial Burden No One Talks About

Beyond the emotional toll, conversion therapy creates real financial hardship for families. A 2022 study in JAMA Pediatrics estimated the total annual cost of these interventions among minors in the United States at $650 million, with associated harms totaling an estimated $9.23 billion in economic burden.

For individual families, the costs can be staggering. Parents have reported spending thousands of dollars on programs that promised to help their children, only to see their relationships deteriorate. In 2015, a landmark consumer fraud lawsuit against a New Jersey conversion therapy organization found that practitioners were making false promises to desperate families and charging big fees for treatments that had no medical basis.

The court ruled definitively that offering conversion therapy constitutes fraud. They described it as an industry built on deception that preys on families during vulnerable moments.

What Research Actually Shows About Effectiveness

Proponents of conversion therapy often claim their methods are gentle, faith-based counseling. But the American Psychological Association’s comprehensive 2009 task force review found no credible evidence that any form of conversion therapy successfully changes a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity.

Even the most well-known “success story” study was later retracted by its own author, who acknowledged the research was fundamentally flawed.

A 2023 study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health found that exposure to conversion therapy substantially increases the likelihood a young person will attempt suicide (by 55%) and more than doubles the risk of running away from home.

The Current Legal Landscape

As of 2025, 23 states have passed laws protecting minors from conversion therapy by licensed mental health professionals. These laws don’t restrict religious counseling or prevent families from having conversations about faith and values. Instead, they make sure that licensed professionals (who are trained, regulated, and trusted to provide evidence-based care) can’t subject minors to harmful practices that every major medical organization has rejected.

The Colorado law being challenged in Chiles v. Salazar was passed based on “overwhelming evidence that efforts to change a young person’s sexual orientation or gender identity are unsafe and ineffective.” Similar laws have been upheld in courts across the country for more than a decade.

A Choice Every Parent Deserves to Understand

No parent wants their child to suffer. When we’re told there’s a way to make our children’s lives easier, to help them fit in, to spare them from hardship, we want to believe it’s possible. Many parents have shared their stories about how they thought conversion therapy would help, only to discover it nearly destroyed their families.

But the evidence is clear: conversion therapy doesn’t protect children. It harms them. It damages families. And it costs parents dearly in ways that go far beyond money.

Research from the Family Acceptance Project shows that what actually protects young people is family acceptance and support. When parents accept their children as they are, those young people show better mental health outcomes, stronger family relationships, and greater success in adulthood.

As the Supreme Court weighs this case, families across the country face a real question: Do we want to protect our children from practices that medical science has proven harmful, or do we risk their well-being on approaches that have repeatedly failed?

The decision isn’t just about law or policy. It’s about the relationship between parents and children, about trust and protection, and about the kind of care our children deserve.

Finding Support and Real Help

If you’re navigating questions about your child’s identity, you’re not alone. Organizations like PFLAG offer resources specifically designed for families of faith who want to support their children while honoring their values.

Here’s the difference between harmful conversion therapy and genuine, ethical counseling: good therapy helps young people understand themselves and find healthy ways to cope with challenges. It never starts with the premise that who they are is wrong or needs to be changed. Your role as a parent is irreplaceable. No therapist, counselor, or program knows your child the way you do. Trust that instinct. Seek out licensed professionals who practice evidence-based care. And remember that the greatest protection you can offer your child is unconditional love, not conditional acceptance based on who they might become.