Sandra Martinez’s husband went to the hospital for a general routine procedure and never came home.

Unbeknownst to the couple, he had an underlying condition that landed him in the ICU for five days before he died in 2015. He was 45. Martinez was 43.

It was devastating for Martinez, who met her husband while they attended Colorado College. They married after graduation and were together for two dozen years.

“We did everything together, so when that happened, it was very unexpected,” she said. “I was really lost, devastated.”

Friends, colleagues and acquaintances flocked around the grieving widow, but many didn’t know what it felt like to lose a partner and in such a sudden manner.

“I was a pretty young widow,” Martinez said. “I didn’t think anyone was going through what I was going through, and certainly not my friends. They didn’t understand, and they didn’t have the language to support me.”

What helped was finding Soaring Spirits, a national nonprofit dedicated to supporting widows and widowers with more than 90 chapters across the U.S. and Canada. The organization provides a blog for widows, a pen pal group, a newly widowed virtual meet-up, and information, including how to choose a grief counselor and the administrative duties to take care of after someone dies, like passwords and accounts.

And then there’s Camp Widow, weekend events held several times a year around the world as well as online.

Four months after her husband died, Martinez took off for the three-day camp, a blend of conference and retreat that culminates with a gala and dance.

“More than anything, it’s the connection with the others,” she said. “Some are freshly widowed, some have been widowed for years. In sessions, you’d see people sharing stories and having emotional moments and also laughing hysterically.”

Being around others who lost their partners, especially those who were many more years into their bereavement, gave her hope. But she wanted more regular connection with other widows and widowers, and began attending Mile High Widows in Denver, which was then Soaring Spirit’s only regional group in Colorado. They’d meet for dinners and brunches, go to galleries, movies and for hikes.

Though she eventually lost contact with the group over the last decade, the nonprofit came to mind earlier this year, after she retired and wondered what the next chapter of her life would look like.

“I thought about service and that group, because you’re always a widow,” she said. “I reached out and started volunteering. There was no regular group here, and I thought, what better way to give back to the organization that walked through that with me 10 years ago?”

The first free meeting of the as-yet-unnamed Colorado Springs chapter met last month at The Warehouse Restaurant. Eleven men and women had drinks and appetizers while they chatted and empathized.

“People didn’t know each other, but they had similar stories in how they lost their partner or how long it had been,” Martinez said. “To see them connect and exchange contact information was really meaningful.”

The new regional group leader hopes to meet twice a month for a variety of activities. Go online to SoaringSpirits.org to register for the group and view meet-up details.

Meetings are open to everyone and attendees don’t have to have been married.

“If your partner in any way passed away, you’re part of the community,” Martinez said. “We have people who were divorced or separated – they’re still a widowed person.”

There won’t be an agenda or presentations, though there might be brief introductions, which can help people make connections and decipher some of the questions that come with death, like what to do about the mortgage and other practical issues.

“It’s also a social outlet, especially when you first lose your spouse. For the first couple of years, some people don’t socialize anymore,” Martinez said. “Soaring provides all the programs, but it’s more about that community and networking and realizing you’re not alone. Even though you may not think it at the time, things do get better.”