When in doubt, don’t.

This is a piece of advice I carry from childhood, bestowed upon me by my mother. It crosses my mind regularly when I make a decision, like buying another sweater that looks suspiciously like one I already have, or painting my house Fabulous Grape, which I did do. And yes, it was as fabulous as advertised. Unclear if my neighbors agree.

While I always remember my mom’s advice, it doesn’t always apply. Sometimes doubt masquerades as fear, and sometimes fear can be a cover for anxiety because you’re simply nervous to try something new. And in my case, trying something new turns out well about half the time, so half the time I should ignore doubt and go for it and the other half I should just stay home and take a bath.

Advice is a tricky thing. It has taken me my whole life to learn to not offer it unless asked, and even then I still offer it sometimes. It’s almost like second nature for many of us, and I believe it comes from a well-intentioned place. We want to help people succeed. We want to share our hard-earned wisdom. But also, many of us don’t learn something unless we experience it on our own. “Things I Learned the Hard Way” would be a fitting title for my memoir.

I sometimes listen to the “Dear Prudence” advice podcast, which features a host and her guest hosts answering questions from listeners. My favorite part is when the host asks her guests for a piece of advice, as I’ve finally arrived at that portion of my life where I actually listen and discern the benefit of other people’s experiences. Better late than never.

Here’s a piece of advice I’d offer if I was on the pod: Don’t shame people for something they haven’t done or somewhere they haven’t been. For example, say you’ve been to Milwaukee, Wis., and you find out I’ve never been. Instead of making it a big deal by saying, “Oh my gosh, you’ve never been to Milwaukee? I can’t believe that. That’s wild. What are you even doing with your life? You are missing out,” you could simply just acknowledge the information and move on. In essence, please don’t make me feel bad about never having been to Milwaukee.

Another piece of advice I’d offer, because I’d be on a roll and it would feel good issuing random wise epithets and ignoring my own advice to not give advice: Don’t assume anything about anybody at any time. And especially don’t assume someone is just like you because odds are they’re not. We often project who we are and what we think on others and that can lead to capital T Trouble, right here in River City.

I invited my social media cohorts to pass along a piece of advice they’d like to give and received a number of tips, many of which will be familiar. I even posed the question to Gail, an unsuspecting cashier at Walmart, who had the misfortune of ringing me up the other day. She pondered a moment before thoughtfully replying: “A good attitude helps you stay healthy.” Yes, Gail, yes.

Here are a few more:

• “One of my professors at Colorado College gave me advice that was simple yet profound to my young ears. He was taking about his path to becoming a wildlife biologist and said find something you love to do and then find a way to get paid for it and you will never work a day in your life.” — Peter Strom

• “Never trust how you feel about your life after 9 p.m.” — Ally Hall

• “Don’t pick your nose or flip anyone off in traffic within a two-mile radius of your work.” — Yves Sturdevant

• “‘o’ is a complete sentence.” — Keala Murdock

• “Don’t give unsolicited advice.” — Suzanne Meyer Borson

• “Get a dog.” — Michelle Karas

• “To be successful in life become good at something no one else wants to do.” — Sue Bachman

• “Be the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.” — Amy Triandiflou

• “Always have something to look forward to.” —Anthony Welch

• “Campsite rule: Leave things/places/people better than you found them.” — Brian Zahn

• “Follow the Golden Rule for professional and personal success.” — Kathy Paradise

• “Be kind, be kind, be kind.” — Valerie Shereck

• “When something goes wrong, don’t reply with an automatic ‘I’m sorry,’ unless you are actually responsible for the wrong.” — Jennifer Radil

• “Nourish your inner landscape. That’s the one place no one can take away from you.” — Jessica Silva

• “You can go broke saving money — you don’t have to buy something just because it’s on sale.” — Jeremiah Walter

• “Wear sunscreen and don’t get into credit card debt. Also listen to your intuition.” — Johanna Puff

• “Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.” — George Lewis

• “Listen and listen and listen.” — Molly Wingate

• “Don’t be a slave to your possessions. Living with this motto has allowed us to travel the world.” — Rachel Stoner Kazmier

• “Be kind to yourself.” — Keri Wirick Pollakoff

• “Keep it between the ditches — snow driving advice.” — Kathleen McFadden

• “ Don’t start a bad habit, like smoking cigarettes or vaping or doing drugs. It’s better to not start something than get addicted to something and struggle to stop.” — Cinnamon Bergeron