Last January, I declared 2024 the year of “Flow.”

I wanted to spend the year becoming more myself and letting my true nature lead me much like the fiddlehead fern unfurls. I set a long list of intentions I still want to aim for. But, the truth is I’m not there yet.

And, that’s ok.

This year, it became clear that trusting myself is critical to experiencing more flow and living where I can be myself regardless of the setting.

My pattern is to not trust myself or to believe in my abilities, which showed up when I returned to school last spring. It showed up again at the end of the summer while I worked on my physical therapy (PT) school application.

Instead of trusting myself, I have a habit of deferring to others’ opinions and seeking their approval.

Not surprisingly, this did not lead me to more moments of connection and flow. It left me feeling stressed, on edge and unsure of myself.

Trusting others over ourselves is a recipe for feeling ungrounded and without agency or power in our lives. We’re at the whims of others instead of aligning with our own knowing.

I did experience moments of flow, connection and fulfillment this year. I found my edges in many ways — in school, in my relationships, revisiting backpacking and improving my running.

I also realized I wasn’t on my own side as I faced this year’s challenges. “Being on your own side” is a concept psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson talks about and it’s one that I find helpful.

When we’re on our own side, we’re patient and understanding instead of judgmental.

Of course, it took me time to adapt to being in school while parenting after a 12-year gap since the last time I took a college course.

Of course, I experienced stress while completing my PT school application because it’s important to me. I care about getting accepted.

Finding compassion for my feelings is much more helpful than harsh judgment. There’s a spaciousness when you meet yourself with care that doesn’t exist when you’re against yourself.

It’s harder to see the beauty in the journey when you’re taking things so seriously. And, yes, I’ve written about that topic too.

I find I don’t learn most lessons the first time. It takes many opportunities to try, to fail, to revise, and try again. That’s how we all learn.

And each time I face this sticky habit of not believing in myself, I’m inching closer to not getting hooked on the unhelpful idea that I’m not capable or need someone else’s approval.

The truth is no one else can give me what I’m seeking. That has to come from me.

Joanna Zaremba is a writer, yoga teacher, and movement and mindset coach. She helps her clients to trust themselves and their bodies. Joanna has lived in the Pikes Peak Region since 2011 and can be reached at joannazaremba@gmail.com.

Last January, I declared 2024 the year of “Flow.”

I wanted to spend the year becoming more myself and letting my true nature lead me much like the fiddlehead fern unfurls. I set a long list of intentions I still want to aim for. But, the truth is I’m not there yet.

And, that’s ok.

This year, it became clear that trusting myself is critical to experiencing more flow and living where I can be myself regardless of the setting.

My pattern is to not trust myself or to believe in my abilities, which showed up when I returned to school last spring. It showed up again at the end of the summer while I worked on my physical therapy (PT) school application.

Instead of trusting myself, I have a habit of deferring to others’ opinions and seeking their approval.

Not surprisingly, this did not lead me to more moments of connection and flow. It left me feeling stressed, on edge and unsure of myself.

Trusting others over ourselves is a recipe for feeling ungrounded and without agency or power in our lives. We’re at the whims of others instead of aligning with our own knowing.

I did experience moments of flow, connection and fulfillment this year. I found my edges in many ways — in school, in my relationships, revisiting backpacking and improving my running.

I also realized I wasn’t on my own side as I faced this year’s challenges. “Being on your own side” is a concept psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson talks about and it’s one that I find helpful.

When we’re on our own side, we’re patient and understanding instead of judgmental.

Of course, it took me time to adapt to being in school while parenting after a 12-year gap since the last time I took a college course.

Of course, I experienced stress while completing my PT school application because it’s important to me. I care about getting accepted.

Finding compassion for my feelings is much more helpful than harsh judgment. There’s a spaciousness when you meet yourself with care that doesn’t exist when you’re against yourself.

It’s harder to see the beauty in the journey when you’re taking things so seriously. And, yes, I’ve written about that topic too.

I find I don’t learn most lessons the first time. It takes many opportunities to try, to fail, to revise, and try again. That’s how we all learn.

And each time I face this sticky habit of not believing in myself, I’m inching closer to not getting hooked on the unhelpful idea that I’m not capable or need someone else’s approval.

The truth is no one else can give me what I’m seeking. That has to come from me.

Joanna Zaremba is a writer, yoga teacher, and movement and mindset coach. She helps her clients to trust themselves and their bodies. Joanna has lived in the Pikes Peak Region since 2011 and can be reached at joannazaremba@gmail.com.