While some can’t wait to fa-la-la, others brace themselves for the holiday season.

This time of year can be a harbinger of grief and loneliness for many, reminding us we’ve lost people we loved over the last year or even years ago. Maybe that loss comes in the form of a pet, job, friend or lifestyle. And all the Christmas carols, fudge and mugs of eggnog in the world can’t lift our spirits. And that’s OK.

Churches around the Pikes Peak region acknowledge the heavy hearts among us at this time of year and offer Blue Christmas services, an alternative to the more merry Christmas Eve services. Often shorter and more quiet, many Blue Christmas services are held the week before Christmas, though some are offered on Christmas Eve.

“So many people are not in the mood for holly jolly. They need a space to land and be able to come together,” said Anne Cubbage, pastor of Broadmoor Community Church.

“I try to offer hope, not necessarily religious hope, but hope for a future beyond whatever space they find themselves in. I have folks who have come for years who have lost somebody and they find it a nice break from the chaos of the season.”

Cubbage’s Blue Christmas service on Wednesday leans toward the secular, with secular music, including this year’s selection of James Taylor’s “Fire and Rain.” The 40-minute gathering includes readings, lighting candles and post-service prayer, if people want to stay.

“Too many people have been beat up by religion,” she said. “They’re told to just get over it. We’re a church who believes no matter who they are they’re welcome here. LGBTQ, trans, homeless. Too many places don’t accept those folks. They don’t have a space. I don’t push it but I offer space to ask questions if they need. Prayer at the end is my saying, ‘If you want to go into the spiritual realm, I’m willing to go there with you.’”

For many who lose a loved one during the year, this is their first holiday season without them. It’s why First Lutheran Church began offering Blue Christmas six years ago. This year’s event is Saturday.

“I looked out over the congregation and realize it’s the first Christmas for people missing their loved one. I want to make space for that,” said pastor Travis Norton. “The message of Christmas is about God coming to our pain and suffering, when we’re at our lowest and the night is darkest. That message doesn’t get shared as clearly because we’re so focused on being happy and cheerful, but the message acknowledges the pain.”

A quiet, contemplative service gives people permission to be with their feelings.

“I feel like a pastor on Blue Christmas the most of all services because I know the people and who they’ve lost,” Norton said. “I’ve done their funerals and walked them through that. During a Christmas Eve service, they don’t feel like they can weep in a pew. At Blue Christmas you can cry freely and people do.”

This year’s Blue Christmas at St. Michael’s Episcopal Church is Tuesday. Less than an hour long, the service offers many moments of silence, hymns in a minor key, scripture about grieving, a meditation post-sermon and a symbolic rock ceremony. People can light a candle for a loved one and take a rock to hold for the entirety of the service before dropping it in water during communion.

“It’s a place to take a break from the pomp and circumstance around the Christmas season,” said St. Michael’s Director of Music Amalia Dobbins.

“Because there’s really not a place where feelings can have an outlet. It’s a place to come and be cared for and held.”

St. Michael’s Blue Christmas was born out of the pandemic in 2020 when people needed comfort during a difficult holiday season. Serendipitously, the service was a source of comfort for Dobbins the following year, when her mother-in-law died. It allowed her a quiet moment to grieve during her busiest time of the year at the church.

“I was supposed to sing the service but couldn’t do it, so I hired someone to come in and sing,” Dobbins said. “It was a special time for me to cry through the pent-up emotions.”

Contact the writer: 636-0270