Daughter’s cookie comments leaves baker feeling crumby | Life Happens
While baking sugar cookies for Valentine’s Day has always been an enjoyable experience, this year’s effort has left me feeling a bit – well, crumby.
My experience started last weekend as I prepared for my annual baking ritual. Five minutes after rolling out the first batch of cookie dough, I spilled flour all over my clothes and shoes. Now, I realize I am not a professional chef, but never before had I wasted so much of the white stuff.
I brushed the excess flour from my clothes when my daughter, Rosemary, entered the kitchen. After watching me for a few minutes, Rosemary decided to use my baking efforts on which to sharpen her comedic wit.
“Dad, you look like you’re in the fight of your life, so let’s get ready to – crruummble!” she shouted as she raised her fists up to her face and assumed a professional boxer stance. “You shouldn’t make too many cookies at once, dad, because it’s too big of a whisk – er, risk,” she said, smiling at having one-upped her dear ‘ole dad.
I explained I hadn’t even started baking let alone consider the amount of cookies I planned to produce. Pouring herself a cup of coffee, Rosemary warned me about eating too many cookies lest I need to visit the doctor. “I don’t want you to ‘overdoughse’ and feel ‘crumby,’” she said as she exited the kitchen. “Well, I feel crumby now, no thanks to your comments,” I shot back.
An hour later, I was ready to try my hand at baking an Oreo-filled cookie. Naturally, Rosemary offered comment.
“Did you know that Cookie Monster’s favorite rock band is Oreo Speedwagon?” she asked innocently. “And did you know that the Oreo cookie visited the dentist because he lost his filling,” she continued, smiling. I shook my head. “Then, you’re a smart cookie, Dad,” she replied, laughing.
After about 30 minutes, I pulled my fresh-baked creations out of the oven. Rosemary sampled a cookie and, with a smirk, asked, “Have you tried the new Wookie cookie? It’s a bit ‘chewy,’” I admit, I walked into that one and she knew it, too.
An hour later, I cleaned the cookie trays for my next effort. And, as usual, my daughter’s mouth was open for business. “What does a cookie and computer have in common? They both have chips.” “Why can’t Cookie Monster make his bed? He doesn’t have a cookie sheet!” she said. Honestly, does she stay up late at night thinking of these comebacks?
There was a time when I shared my homemade treats with Gazette employees, a moment when colleagues greeted me with open arms instead of bombarding me with comments about my culinary skills. No matter, I still enjoy baking cookies for my wife and me. She loves me. I guess you could say we’re a “batch” made in heaven (listen to me, I’m as bad as my daughter).
Before long it will be time for me to break out the red, white and blue food coloring, and begin baking cookies in celebration of Independence Day. Until then, I vow to remain calm, eat a delicious cookie and enjoy life, free from my daughter’s tart tongue. Ahh, that’s the life. After all, life is what you bake – er, make of it, right?
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William J. Dagendesh is an author, writer and retired U.S. Navy photojournalist, editor and public affairs officer. He has lived in southern Colorado 24 years. Contact William with comments or ideas for his column at nutmeg120395@yahoo.com.
William J. Dagendesh
