Strange things: 10 offbeat gifts for the person who has everything
Were you really going to buy another sweater and socks for the person who has everything in your life? Here’s a gift from us.
With under a week to go before Christmas, after a search for the weird and offbeat, we’ve found some give-able ideas that will bring a thumbs up and a “you finally did it!” from your difficult giftee.
SKELETAL ARRANGEMENT OF THE FAMILY PET
Pets have been memorialized since the Egyptians mummified their treasured animals. Might we suggest a twist on taxidermy for the person who has lost a beloved pet? One Denver-area man has found a way to preserve the bones of people’s beloved dogs, cats and transform them into intact skeletons in the pose of your choice.
Jonathan Alberico finds ways to memorialize the family pet in death. These are the actual bones of Guiness, a beloved Corgi who died and is immortalized in Eleonora Wrenn Cross’ living room.
We visited Jonathan Alberico in his Aurora beetle barn where he was arranging the skeleton structure of Beans, a dachshund who recently died. Alberico uses beetles to remove ligament, fur and flesh clean from the bones of pets to be preserved before expertly arranging their skeletons in a telltale pose with wire.
Cost varies depending on the weight and size of the animal.
For more information: Jonathan@learnedlemur.com
CALLING THE ARCHANGELS
Your giftee may want for nothing, but we bet this may get a smile. Who wouldn’t love a personal summons for spiritual help from one of four archangels.
Herbalist Matthew Berk, who works at Herbs and Arts on East Colfax Avenue, combines oils to create a smell which he said can “elicit the energies” of the Archangels Gabriel, Michael, Raphael and Urie.
Witches Frankie Rue Mason and Eleonora Wren Cross pose in front of of the World’s Smallest Apothecary.
• In need of inspiration? Smooth in a few drops of the oil which attracts the Archangel Gabriel for ideas and creativity.
• Berke’s secret weapon to provide protection is an oil which calls to the Archangel Michael.
• Feeling poorly or going on a trip? Call on Archangel Rafael, the healer and protector of travelers.
• Some days, your giftee may want to sing “If I only had a brain.” Archangel Uriel can unweave those scatterbrains. Wearing his smell can bring wisdom and prophecy.
If archangels aren’t your loved one’s thing, Berk and his team also research and custom-blend essential oils for forgiveness, grief and, maybe the most fun, to connect with fairies.
“Magic is a signpost to the universe,” said Berk.
Oils are $6 and up depending on how many ounces you buy.
For more information: Herbs and Arts, Matthew Berk, Herbalist, 2015 E. Colfax Ave., Denver; (303) 388-2544.herbsandarts.com
FOR THE READER
Looking for something to read besides the annual John Sandford mystery? We have the place – and the eclectic tomes – for you.
Dan Danbom’s unique bookstore, The Printed Page, has two Mark Twain first editions for sale. “Sketches” was first published in 1875 and costs $900.
The Printed Page has two original editions of Mark Twain novels for sale.
He also has on hand “A Yankee in King Arthur’s Court,” a first edition from 1889 for $450. Danbom said you’ll know it’s not a fake because later editions were titled: “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court.” Score!
DNA is so 21st century. Instead, give your giftee hours of reading up on the real smoking gun — fingerprinting! Forensic scientists say no two fingerprint patterns are alike, and back in the 1800’s, scientists said that the odds that two people had the same fingerprint were 1 in 64 billion. “Fingerprint Directories” for the amateur sleuth on your list is available for $1,250.
Forensic scientists say no two fingerprint patterns are alike, but the odds are more like 1 in 64 billion. “Fingerprint Directories” for the amateur sleuth on your list is available for $1,250.
How about the gift of taking a time machine back to the Parisian bar where the Bloody Mary was first concocted? What an experience for even the least excitable giftee to taste cocktails once enjoyed by Ernest Hemingway and Humphrey Bogart? Barflies and Cocktails, published in Paris in 1927, contains the recipes of Harry’s New York Bar in Paris —where many famous Americans like Hemingway, Jack Dempsey and F. Scott Fitzgerald imbibed.
Barflies and Cocktails was written by bartender Harry MacElhone, a Scotsman who invented not only the Bloody Mary, but the Sidecar and an early form of the French 75.
Barflies and Cocktails was written by bartender Harry MacElhone, a Scotsman who invented not only the Bloody Mary, but the sidecar and an early form of the French 75.
This rare book costs $3,500 and so worth it.
For more information: The Printed Page Bookshop, 1416 S. Broadway, Denver; (303) 777-7653. www.printedpagebookshop.com
BRONCO THERAPY
What better guy to commiserate with for the hard-to-buy-for and frustrated Denver Bronco fan than a life-sized cut-out of John Elway in shorts, circa 1980’s? Your giftee can prop up Big John by the television during the game, or sit him across from the guacamole and opine about the good old days. Marketed by Coors back in the day, this cutout was found in many area bars. $65.
This life-sized cut-out of John Elway found at the Colorado Antique Gallery in Littleton could be just what the sports psychologist ordered for commiseration during these scizophrenic Denver Bronco times.
Give yourself some time. The Colorado Antique Gallery houses 250 antiques and collectibles dealers.
For more information: Colorado Antique Gallery, 5501 S Broadway #135, Littleton; (303) 794-8100. coloradoantiquegallery.com
WITCH-MADE BREW
Baba Yaga’s Lovely Brew will bring calm and serenity with one steaming cup. Cross gathered the rose buds petals from her backyard garden to make it.
Buy it for the name alone. Eleonora Wren Cross promised us that Baba Yaga’s Lovely Brew will bring calm and serenity with one steaming cup. Cross gathered the rose buds and petals from her backyard garden, and added juniper berries, lemon balm and lemon peel to the brew.
Find Baba Yaga and other lovely witch crafted teas at The World’s Smallest Apothecary. A four-ounce tin costs $13.50 or buy eight ounces for $20.
For more information: RueAndWren.com
Bonus Bizarro Gifts
While you’re visiting the World’s Smallest Apothecary located in a corner of The Learned Lemur, carve out some time to browse a host of oddities for sale at The Lemur. Consider the painful-looking and sharp antique dental and medical tools which you can buy one at a time or in bulk. Where else can you find an electronic pelvic massage machine, a vibrator used by doctors in the 1800’s and early-1900’s to cure hysteria in women by bringing them to “hysterical paroxysm.” We’ll save you the time to look that up. It’s medical term for female orgasm.
For more information: Inside The Learned Lemur, Colorado’s Premiere Oddities Dealer, 2220 E. Colfax Ave., Denver, (720) 600-7585. learnedlemur.com
NO BIZ LIKE SHOW BIZ
The Denver Center for the Performing Arts offers Improv, Playwriting and Scene Study classes at its Robert and Judy Newman Center for Theater Education but how about something out of the ordinary? Allison Watrous, executive director of Education and Community Engagement, recommends the gift of experience for the person who has everything because “it lasts throughout the wintertime.”
Trapeze Classes
Low-flying trapeze class may seem peculiar, but it’s taught in a safe space, it’s not as risky as bungee-jumping and could be just as exhilarating.
Low-flying trapeze class may seem peculiar, but it’s taught in a safe space, it’s not as risky as bungee-jumping and could be just as exhilarating.Trapezers swing with the greatest of ease at about 5 feet above the ground and hang from the knee or hip.
Trapezers swing with the greatest of ease at about 5 feet above the ground and hang from the knee or hip.
Six sessions, at 2.5 hours per class, costs $300 and start Jan. 23.
Voice-over Classes for teens
Does your bored “there’s nothing to do” middle schooler practice accents or get into character for fun? Here’s a chance to harness that talent.
Movies like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Trolls Band Together and Wish need young voices. So do video game creators.
Middle School Voice-Over class starts in January and runs for four weeks on Saturdays when “THERE’S NOTHING TO DOOOOOO!”
For more information: Denver Center for the Performing Arts Education education@dcpa.org 1101 13th St., Denver; (303) 893-4000.
NUGGETS WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP RING
Your giftee loved the Denver Nuggets and already has the jersey and the fake gold chain.
How about championship bling?
The Nuggets’ championship rings feature 16 carats of diamonds, rubies, and blue sapphires to represent the Nuggets’ colors. The 16 carats represent the 16 postseason wins that it took to win the NBA championship.
It’s not an exact replica, but Jason of Beverly Hills — who designed the Nuggets’ championship diamond, ruby and sapphire-studded rings — created a less-expensive version for Nuggets super-fans. Your giftee can sit in the stands and flash, but prepare to spend the cash.
Jason has the rings available at three price tiers: “standard” for $895, “premium” for $6,995, and a “super-fan” version which will set you back $9,995.
For more information: Jason of Beverly Hills, 310 385 3970.
CELEBRITY-OWNED MID-MOD LIVING ROOM SET
Most people know about the International Church of Cannabis. It’s high on the list for travelers when they visit Denver, at #2 on Tripadvisor’s list of Things to Do.
The ICC features BEYOND, a nine-minute guided meditative experience accompanied by laser lights, audio and projection mapping which takes place in the 125-year-old restored church. The meditation is followed by a 25-minute psychedelic light show, all for $25 per ticket. Can you say “Christmas Eve?”
Most people are familiar with BEYOND, but did you know about the cool, one-of-a-kind stuff you can buy there?
What would your well-outfitted giftee think of owning the harvest gold living room set formerly sat on by former professional snowboarder and half-pipe champion Shaun White? It’s for sale and you still have time to haul it (carefully) away at a price of $15,000.
Snowboard champion Shaun White’s former couches are also available for sale at the International Church of Cannabis.
Looking for something that takes up a little less space? Perhaps the Robot Room Divider as formally seen on an episode of American Pickers ($3,000) would be peculiar enough for your giftee.
A robot room divider featured on the television show ‘American Pickers’ is available for sale.
Not useful enough? Check out the circa-1920’s lollipop weight scale for $1,800.
As ICC Co-Founder Steve Berke told us: “We are not just stoner tourism.”
For more information: ICC 400 S. Logan St, Denver; (303) 800-5644. elevationists.org
Tickets to find the hidden elves in the Denver Museum of Nature & Science
When artist Kent Pendleton was hired to paint the Denver Museum of Nature & Science’s sprawling dioramas in 1971, he left a few tiny secrets for eagle-eyed visitors — a menagerie of nine, well-camouflaged elves in his work.
35mm color slides scanned with Nikon Coolscan V ED 4000dpi and 24bit RGB. Detail close up of the gnome in the Cretaceous Creekbed diorama, vertical shot. November, 2000. Digital ICE enabled.
“I just for some reason decided it would be fun to put a little guy in there,” Pendleton told 9News. The museum has even made a scavenger hunt for visitors to spot all nine as they trek through its corridors. One elf rides on the back of a dinosaur while others are much more inconspicuous.
“If they help in any way to increase people’s interest in the exhibits,” Pendleton also told 9News, “I think that’s a good thing.”
One of the hidden elves in the Pendleton dioramas at the Denver Museum of Nature & Science.
In addition to the elves, which Pendleton actually called leprechauns, viewers can spot the Millennium Falcon, a unicorn and an angel lurking in Pendleton’s paintings.
For more information: Denver Museum of Nature and Science, 2001 Colorado Blvd., Denver; 303 370 6000. dmns.org
STOCKING STUFFERS
For your hard-to-buy-for-person, finding inexpensive but interesting stocking stuffers can be the biggest challenge.
Ye Olde-Tyme Denver Eatery Matchbooks
Consider a sleeve of matchbooks collected from various old-school Denver restaurants like The Broker Inn, Cork & Cleaver and The Buckhorn Exchange. $5 per sleeve.
Consider a sleeve of matchbooks collected from various old-school Denver restaurants like The Broker Inn, Cork & Cleaver and The Buckhorn Exchange from The Colorado Antique Gallery on South Broadway in Littleton.
For more information: (303) 794-8100 Colorado Antique Gallery
Marzipan Piggies
Forget the toothbrushes and Hershey’s Kisses and go for something completely different, like a Marzipan Piggie — which is delicious and hilariously pink. Or buy chocolate-covered and holiday-sprinkled oreos and pretzels.
Marzipan piggies at The Rheinlander Bakery.
Be prepared to join the line of excited cake-lovers at Olde Town Arvada’s authentic European Rheinlander Bakery, which is celebrating its 60th year in business.
For more information: Rheinlander Bakery, 5721 Olde Wadsworth Blvd., Arvada; (303) 467-1810. rheinlanderbakery.com
International Cannabis Church-stamped rolling papers
Sold for $4.20, of course. In the ICC gift shop.
For more information: ICC 400 S Logan St, Denver; (303) 800-5644. elevationists.org
Perhaps the Robot Room Divider as formally seen on an episode of American Pickers ($3,000) would be peculiar enough for your giftee.
Another hidden gnome in the Kent Pendleton dioramas at the Denver Museum of Nature & Science.
Another hidden gnome in the Kent Pendleton dioramas at the Denver Museum of Nature & Science.
An elf rides on the back of a dinosaur in one of Kent Pendleton’s dioramas painted in 1971. Left photo: 9News/Erica Tinsley, Right photo: Denver Museum of Nature & Science