We’ve all heard the complimentary expression, he or she has “never met a stranger,” which reflects a spontaneous interest to befriend rather than pass by a total stranger.

While hiking recently on a trail I’d been on numerous times I saw a man approaching whom I’d never seen before. As I was about to pass I experienced that flash of thought we’re all familiar with — should I speak to him? What if he prefers to continue his solitary walk undisturbed by a stranger?

I took the risk of an unwanted intrusion and said good morning, to which he responded in kind. After introductions, I learned that this gentleman, Larry Black, is a local author who has published three books on regional history and is active in the Ute Pass Historical Society. Intrigued, I mentioned that I’ve begun writing a weekly column in the local paper, and that a future subject is whether we learn from history; he smiled and quoted Winston Churchill, that we seem to repeat the same mistakes. After an animated and rewarding 15-minute discussion we shook hands and headed to our respective destinations. So, what if I had just stared ahead and walked by, which, preoccupied with our own interior universe, we often seem inclined to do.

Well, I would have stayed in the predictable and routine comfort of myself, and I would have been the less for it. There’s surely nothing objectionable about enjoying privacy, but after you’ve made a habit of reaching out to strangers you begin to relish the opportunity to cross the threshold and explore another person’s unique world. It’s contagious in the best sense of the word.

It’s like writing your own script in the play of life, and when you realize that you’re the author, the possibilities for learning become unlimited. Moreover, you’re no longer locked in the cocoon of the self, where we tend to listen to reruns of the same scripts.

Another dimension is the surprise we inevitably experience when we compare our initial judgments based on appearances with what we discover upon learning about a “stranger’s” life — the strikingly common interests and aspirations that form the core of human existence.

That leads to another observation, which is instructive for us all. The more distant and isolated we are the easier it is for us to be harsh with one another. Compare how some people act when they’re in the anonymous cage of their cars — it can bring out the worst in us. But the same two people who might exchange the universal hand sign of mutual hate might delve into a meaningful discussion if they met in a grocery store aisle.

It’s all about our willingness to bring discipline to our interactions and to recognize that whether someone is on the other end of an email or standing in front of us, we should express respect not disdain.

Indeed, we should reject the temptation to email or text something we wouldn’t say in person, because though it might feel momentarily satisfying, the injury to another takes on a life of its own and encourages future infractions.

I know my goal of personal development has been advanced by denying the tyranny of my electronic devices and relegating them to their right place as tools for timely information exchanges.

That has opened new opportunities to focus on the gold standard of communication, looking into the face of a stranger, smiling and initiating a rewarding conversation. That has provided important lessons on the road of life, where I hope to meet more people I’ll never call strangers.

Philip Mella serves on the 4th Judicial District Nominating Commission and is a health care administrator with a passion for history, politics and the written word. He also served on the Woodland Park City Council for seven years. Email Philip at roadnottaken@pikespeaknewspapers.com.

PHILIP MELLA