Dear Donna,

I have had a friendship with a man I have known for several years. I never thought of him as romance potential, but lately I am beginning to realize what a really good man he is and he does have so many of the qualities I find appealing.

The last few times we were together, I have felt like there could be romance potential, and I am not sure how to share this with him. When we first met, he was interested in dating me, but I told him I did not feel an attraction to him and I thought we should just be friends. Physically he is the same person he was when we first met. How do I now tell him I am interested in more than friendship after I told him I was not attracted to him? – Rachael

Dear Rachael,

Physical attraction is not just about the way someone looks. It is about the whole package, and what is on the inside can make someone more attractive on the outside.

Tell him what you have been feeling lately and see if he is on the same page. At this point, he may not see you as romance potential and you can hopefully stay friends. Knowing that you are interested in more than friendship, I doubt that he would question whether or not you are attracted to him. It is not uncommon for physical attraction to grow when you get to know and like someone better. It is almost not uncommon for it to go away when you don’t like someone you were initially very attracted to.

If he is open to exploring more than friendship, a good place to start might be to watch the movie “When Harry Met Sally.” The best basis for a successful relationship is a good friendship, and you already have that working for you. Good luck!

Dear Donna,

My girlfriend is going to her 20th high school reunion in another state next month, and I am not invited. A couple of her old boyfriends will be there, and she has been communicating with one of them. I asked her how she would feel if the situation was reversed, and she said she would be fine with it.

I trust her, but I have heard many stories about people who go to these reunions and reconnect with old boyfriends or girlfriends then go home and dump their partner. If it was my reunion, I would be proud to take her with me, and I don’t understand why she does not feel the same way. – John

Dear John,

I hear those stories, too, and they rarely have a happy ending.

If you truly trust her, you should show that by letting her go alone. She will be reconnecting with many people besides her old boyfriends, and she will have more time to do that if she goes by herself. This is not about you or your relationship with her. It is about her 20th high school reunion, and she should be able to go and enjoy it. If you trust her, she will appreciate that you let her go on her own terms.

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Shugrue owns Perfectly Matched. Her column runs biweekly in Home and Family. Visit perfectlymatcheddating.com or email questions to

donnashugrue@comcast.net.