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Relationship lacksmuch time together

Dear Donna: It's the thought that counts but cost still issue with Christmas gift

Dear Donna,

For the past six months, I have been dating a man to whom I am very attracted. And we have a great time when we are together. The problem is that doesn’t happen as often as I would like. He says he enjoys my company, but we only see each other two or three times a month. He does keep in touch via phone calls and text messages almost every day. He said that he is not dating anyone else and wants to get to know me better, but his work is all-consuming.

Initially, he told me he was working on a special project and I thought it would be a temporary thing, but six months later nothing has changed. This holiday season I went to all of the special occasions by myself, and I am tired of being alone on weekends. Do you think I should insist on more time together or let it go? – Kathy

Dear Kathy,

If he cannot manage to see you more than two or three times a month because of his job, that means his work is more of a priority than spending time with you. If you are letting him know you want to spend more time together and it hasn’t happened in six months, I don’t think you are on the same page. The next time you are together, let him know this is not working for you. Most people in a relationship see each other two or three times a week. Whatever works for the couple is what matters. This might be fine with him, but he needs to understand that if he wants to get to know you better he needs to make spending time with you more of a priority. If he is truly interested in you, he will find the time.

Dear Donna,

Featured Local Savings

I bought my girlfriend some jewelry for Christmas, and she said it wasn’t her style. I told her to take it back and pick something she liked. A lady at the jewelry store then called and said that my girlfriend had picked a necklace that was $200 more. The lady wanted to know if she should put it on the same credit card. I said yes, but I regret it. I don’t think she should have picked something that was $200 more, but I am not sure how to handle this. – Tom

Dear Tom,

You told her to pick something she liked. She might not have known what you paid initially. If she did not have a receipt and the sales lady did not tell her what you spent, you should bite the bullet and let her enjoy her Christmas present. She now has a piece of jewelry from you that she likes, and that has a value.

Shugrue owns Perfectly Matched. Her column runs biweekly in Home and Family. Visit perfectlymatcheddating.com or email questions to donnashugrue@comcast.net.

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