Dear Donna,

My boyfriend of three years ended our relationship two months ago and I am still in shock. I thought I was going to be getting an engagement ring for Christmas because that is what we had planned. At first, I thought he simply was getting cold feet. I told him we could wait on the engagement, but he made it clear the relationship is over and he does not even want to be friends. The hardest part is that he has not given me any reason as to why he ended it, and I keep wondering what I did wrong. I have tried everything to get him to reconsider, but at this point he has stopped communicating with me. I am hurting so much. I don’t know where to turn or what to do. – Lindsey

Dear Lindsey,

I am sorry this is happening, and I encourage you to talk with someone. A professional counselor, your clergyman, a good friend or your family can help you through this difficult time. Please stop wondering what you did wrong because chances are this has more to do with him. After a three-year relationship, it is unfair and unfortunate that he has not given you a good reason for ending it. But you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. If this is how he handles conflict, you are better off knowing now rather than later. Everyone comes into your life for a reason and everyone leaves your life for a reason. This man is out of your life so you can ultimately find the man who is right for you.

Dear Donna,

My girlfriend’s sister decided to purchase a table for 10 at a local hotel so the family can have dinner, stay overnight and celebrate New Year’s Eve together. It is very generous of her to pay for everyone, and I am the only one who does not want to go. This is something my ex-wife and I did several times, and I hate the idea of celebrating New Year’s Eve in this environment. My girlfriend wants to go, but she says she won’t go without me. Help!

Dear Help,

Relationships are all about compromise. If you do this for her now, maybe she’ll do something for you that she is not thrilled about down the road. Also, you might enjoy yourself more with your girlfriend and her family than you did with your ex-wife. Do it for her and go with a positive attitude.

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Donna Shugrue owns Perfectly Matched. Her column runs biweekly in Home and Family. Visit perfectlymatcheddating.com or email questions to donnashugrue@comcast.net.