It’s said that dogs play checkers and cats play chess. When the game board is your home – and you’re living with a feline grandmaster – the dynamic can be stress-inducing for all parties.

Rover’s messages tend to be linear, in-your-face and his; nobody does contrition quite like a dog. By contrast, cats’ communiques can seem abstract, stealthy and highly personal. If the cat isn’t happy, you’ll know it eventually … when you climb into bed, slide on your slippers or go to fold the laundry. Urine checkmate. Again.

How we read our cats’ behavior, and negotiate the relationship, might have more to do with societal grooming than reality, said animal behavior consultant Megan Phillips, who teaches classes and offers remote and in-home consultations through her Colorado Springs-based business, Train With Trust.

“There’s generally a perception of cats being independent and aloof and self-sustaining and that they don’t need much care,” Phillips said. “People think of a cat curling up in your lap and purring … but a cat curling up, sleeping all the time, might not be a particularly well-adjusted cat.”

From the get-go, pet owners also tend to expect a greater level of responsibility, and more legwork, owning a dog.

“People sort of prepare more for doing extra, like walking and play, that they don’t with cats. Cats do need those things; they just need them in different ways,” Phillips said. “The assumption that cats are ‘independent,’ we’re learning, is not necessarily true. They’re more social than we think they are so they need more from us. But I also tell people that behavior is always a study of one.”

In general, making smart environmental choices and changes, investing in the right gear and adjusting expectations can help to get things purring at home, Phillips said.

Litter boxing

“The No. 1 reason any animal ends up at a shelter is behavioral issues, and going outside the box is No. 1 for cats,” said Phillips, whose job often begins with convincing a pet owner that a behavior problem is, indeed, fixable. “We have cats that have litter box problems but because we love our animals and are dedicated to them, we’ll say, ‘Well, cats just do that.’ Cats’ urinating and defecating behavior is a lot about communication and about being settled in their territory, though, and there really is a lot that can be done to fix it.”

While different cats might favor certain litter box designs and types of litter over others (the burden is on the owner to suss out individual tastes), Phillips counsels against scented varieties as a rule.

“Cats have a good sense of smell and they don’t like smelly perfumes,” she said.

Also, be sure to keep the litter clean. That means daily diligence.

“Scooping out the box should be a minimum of at least once a day,” she said.

Basic litter box math isn’t as basic as you might think.

“Our recommendation is you want one box for each cat, and then one extra box,” Phillips said. “We tell people size matters. You want it to be at least one-and-a-half times the length of the cat.”

The box also should be located in a somewhat private spot but not too remote.

“Cats do like to have their privacy,” she said. “A large amount of people want to put the litter in the farthest corner of the freezing-cold basement, but cats like convenience and comfort as much as we do. It’s convenient for us because we don’t have to deal with that stinky thing, but cats are like ‘I have to walk all the way down there? Hey, this corner will work just fine.'”

Hiding spots and perches

As a species, dogs are predominantly predators; cats are both predator and prey. That’s why the tough alley Tom is skittish and the Chihuahua is not.

“Little dogs don’t know they’re little. Their evolutionary past doesn’t tell them they’re prey. People forget that cats are hunted by other animals, so when we have these animals in the home, their natural instinct is to hide,” Phillips said.

When there’s no available retreat, or a cat is being “flushed out all the time by kids or new owners who want to be best friends right away, it’s stressful,” Phillips said. “They want to adjust on their own.”

Just as it is with people, cats come with a hard-wired set of tendencies. A nervous cat likely won’t ever chill out completely, but an owner can encourage the evolution, or relaxing, of established behavioral responses, Phillips said. For a skittish cat, she recommends setting up retreats – a perch with a view and a “cave” tucked away from the chaos.

“You let them know if they’re scared they have two hiding places. If we give them those options, they’re less fearful to come out of their hiding place,” she said. “We allow them the opportunity to become their most confident self.”

Healthy play

Often, cat issues in the home can stem from feline boredom, Phillips said.

“There’s no rule that says any pet has to eat out of a bowl. If we can provide food in a way that encourages a cat to be active, we should,” she said.

Many companies make kibble- and treat-dispensing devices that incorporate play into the dining experience – a process cats crave on a genetic level.

“Your basic, average, 10-pound feral cat hunting to survive is going to eat 10 to 12 mice a day that they have to stalk, hunt and kill. These are not lazy cats sleeping all day,” Phillips said. “Cats in their natural environment are going to be eating many small meals a day, so providing interactive food in multiple smaller feeding situations will mimic that.”

The most important factor when settling down with a new feline companion – or changing up an untenable pattern already in place in the home – is patience.

“Don’t rush it. A lot of people push too quickly to get the cat out from under the bed. It’s totally normal for the cat to want to hide for a while,” Phillips said. “For some folks, it’s a matter of implementing one or two changes that could make a significant difference. The fix might be very elaborate, but sometimes it can be solved in one session.”