Having lost four family members, including their 10-year-old son, in an instant on a Missouri highway a year ago, Linda and Kevin Calegar are one step into a never-ending journey of loss and the bittersweet beauty that has come from it.In the weeks after the March 22, 2009, crash when the family’s SUV went off U.S. Highway 60 in Mountain View, Mo., swerved back onto the highway and into oncoming traffic, collided with a pickup, then burst into flames in the median, Linda and Kevin Calegar’s home was filled with friends and music and drinking.“It wasn’t reality. We were in shock,” Linda Calegar said.As they were told would happen, the visits slowed and the gripping reality of all they lost settled in.“It has been a year of firsts like they talk about,” Kevin Calegar said. “But in our case there were four birthdays, in addition to the holidays.”Killed in the crash were the driver, 52-year-old Deborah Calegar of Colorado Springs, Kevin Calegar’s sister; 10-year-old Christopher Calegar, Linda and Kevin Calegar’s son; and longtime Colorado Springs residents James Calegar, 76, and Zelmalee Calegar, 73, Kevin and Deborah Calegar’s parents.James Calegar was retired from the Air Force, and he and Zelmalee, a homemaker, had been married 52 years and had six children. They lived in Colorado Springs for 35 years.Last March, the group of three Calegar generations was en route to North Carolina for Christopher Calegar’s spring break from Remington Elementary School, where he was a fifth-grader preparing to play Grandpa Joe in the school production of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.”The grandparents planned to visit family. Deborah, a childless aunt dedicated to her Dachsund and nieces and nephew, and Christopher were going to rent a car, ditch grandma and grandpa and rummage up some fun, Linda Calegar said.“Mornings are the hardest. Everyday we pass his room. He’s not there,” Linda Calegar said of her creative little boy who lived music, drama and football. “We just need to continue to heal. I know there has to be a lot of beauty out there, but I can’t always see it.”What she has seen, however, is the outpouring of support and tribute the Remington Elementary community has done in honor of Christopher.Friends John Kenty and Crystal King organized a memorial fund; $8,000 later, the family donated it to the school, which this school year bought 10 guitars for the music department. Each is marked with a plaque with Christopher Calegar’s name on it.Another tradition in honor of Christopher started last spring when two fifth-graders were presented a performing arts award in his name. Two such plaques will be awarded each year, Linda Calegar said.Remington’s Parent Teacher Association placed a stone on the school’s grounds last spring in his memory.“We lost so much. But out of what we lost, Remington has done something so beautiful for us and Christopher’s memory,” Linda Calegar said.One day when their wounds aren’t so fresh, Kevin and Linda Calegar hope to further encourage funding arts programs in schools. Without such programs at Remington, they say, their son wouldn’t have found his niche.“Without music and drama in our schools, many kids will lose their way,” Linda Calegar said.Deborah, James and Zelmalee Calegar are buried at Divine Redeemer, the Catholic church the elder Calegars dedicated much of their life to.Christopher Calegar’s ashes are at the only home he knew, a home his parents don’t know whether to sell to move on or stay in to remember.“We’ve got all the reasons in the world to stay in this house and all the reasons in the world to leave,” Linda Calegar said. “We don’t know what our future brings. So our boy is home with us.”

Linda and Kevin Calegar held a photograph of their son, Christopher in his bedroom Friday afternoon. Christopher,10, was killed along with his grandparents, James and Zelmalee Calegar, Kevin’s parents, and Kevin’s sister, Deborah Calegar in a car crash in Missouri a year ago. The family was on a spring break road trip to North Carolina. The guitar was Christopher’s passion. Photo by Carol Lawrence, The Gazette