A friend from Oklahoma who wouldn’t trust government with a nickel used to say a slick way to fund Big Brother would be with a toilet paper tax.   How better to fund the government’s diarrhea of the checkbook than by making every flush count, he cynically joked.   Practically speaking, it’s something everybody uses and restocks regularly. With the surge in multi-bathroom mansions dotting the foothills, toilet paper sales surely are exploding.   Now, El Paso County has done something similar. Commissioners recently jacked the price of permits for new septic systems by 27 percent in one swipe, from $140 to $177.50.Say hello to a good buy   For one-29th the price of a red-light citation per day, Colorado Springs provides police and fire protection, street paving, parks maintenance and many other services, according to the city’s latest propaganda sheet.   The CityWire E-newsletter Special Report says each resident pays, on average, 77 cents per day to fund city government, or 48 percent of the general fund’s $237 million budget. The rest is paid by tourists and user fees of various kinds, including fines.   The newsletter reports the city has 687 sworn police officers, and calls for service totaled 110,783 in the first half of this year. That’s less than one call per day per officer.   Asked to explain, city spokesman John Leavitt provided a lengthy commentary, noting that after factoring in time off, illness, nonpatrol assignments, retirements, injuries and other issues, “the most people we have assigned to any shift if we are fully staffed as authorized (which we never are) is 133.” That would translate to 399 for a 24-hour period, which ups the workload to 1.6 calls per day.   Leavitt also noted some calls, such as a sexual assault or homicide, take an entire shift and tie up several cops. Also, responding to calls can take a back seat to other duties, such as training, court time and reportwriting.   The Fire Department’s 28 companies made 22,485 calls during the first half of the year, averaging 4.5 calls per day.   To see more city spending, go to www.springsgov.comFox reports, Balink decides   When you go to the El Paso County’s Department of Motor Vehicles, prepare to be assaulted, Springs resident Richard Knapp warns.   There, you’ll get a steady dose of Fox News, the preferred television station of Clerk and Recorder Bob Balink, and, it turns out, county commissioners.   Gazette reporter Perry Swanson says Knapp complained to commissioners last week after he was in the motor vehicle waiting room and the TV was tuned to Fox. He said Fox news personalities take shots at Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama.   “We’re in the election process, and we have a county facility that seems to be facilitating the propagation of slanderous material,” he said. “My request simply is that the TV be tuned to any station other than Fox.”   The commissioners shot him down.   “If you don’t like it, you don’t look,” Commissioner Amy Lathen said. “I don’t believe censorship is the answer. I think we all need to just take in information and make judgments for ourselves.”   Commissioners Wayne Williams and Sallie Clark said Fox News – whose motto is “We report. You decide.” – is less biased than other networks.   That’s immaterial, though. Commissioners can’t tell Balink what to air. As an elected official, he calls his own shots, and Fox it will continue to be.    CONTACT THE WRITER: 636-0238 or pam.zubeck@gazettedev.gazette.com

Democratic Party representative Roger Dockun, left, and Republican Party representative Irene Knudsen used an AccuVote optical scanner to check ballots Thursday during a test of county vote-counting machines in preparation for the Aug. 12 primary. Photo by (MARK REIS, THE GAZETTE)