TootlesMemorial Health System CEO Dick Eitel packs it in Monday, with a big check in his pocket.Eitel, 55, retires after 33 years at cityowned Memorial, the last five as CEO with a salary of $444,412 a year.Eitel stepped down after the hospital spent $250,000 to sponsor the upcoming U.S. Senior Open golf tournament, while the main and north hospitals piled up millions in cost overruns, and staff undershot 2007’s budget by $23.5 million.But Monday, Eitel leaves with $118,624 – for 555.2 hours of sick and vacation time accrued over the years. Some was earned at a lower rate of pay. Yet, under the city’s policy, he’ll be paid for the hours at his current pay rate – $213.66 per hour.He’ll also receive undisclosed benefits from the Public Employees Retirement Association and get six months of health coverage.

GiddyapWho says government officials don’t have a sense of humor, staff writer Jennifer Wilson wants to know.She reports that a news release titled “Horses, Handguns and Humans Discovered in Foiled Smuggling Attempt” tells how U.S. Customs and Border Protection nabbed eight illegal immigrants near Douglas, Ariz., on March 20.Three were in a pickup cab. The others were in a locked compartment in a horse trailer, border officers said. Officials e-mailed Wilson digital photos of a horse in the trailer and the trailer’s exterior. The photos’ file names? “Mylittlepony013” and “mylittlepony001.”

Pencil sharpeningResidents in Colorado Springs School District 11 recently got postcards alerting them that two annual reports are available online.One reports achievement and financial data; the other is about D-11’s 2005 bond program. Both are at www.d11.org.State law requires districts to report results, but this is D-11’s first use of a postcard.In past years, the district spent nearly $40,000 printing and mailing 16-page financial reports that focus groups told officials “were being thrown away,” said Elaine Naleski, D-11 communications director.So D-11 sent 95,515 postcards and split the $17,750 cost between its regular budget and the bond fund. Want a printed copy? Call 520-2005 for the district report and 477-6004 for the bond report.

Freedom isn’t freeAccording to the Tax Foundation, Americans have been shackled to Uncle Sam all year, paying for everything from photocopies to F-16s, staff writer Perry Swanson reports.But freedom comes April 23 when “Tax Freedom Day” marks the end of people working to earn a collective $3.9 trillion, enough to run federal, state and local governments.”Americans will spend more on taxes in 2008 than they will spend on food, clothing and housing combined,” said foundation President Scott Hodge.Not so fast, the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities says. Government revenues may account for 31 percent of national income, but not everyone pays the same amount. The rich pay more, leaving 80 percent of households paying less than the foundation’s “average” burden.CONTACT THE WRITER: 636-0238 or pam.zubeck@gazettedev.gazette.com