What is one of your partner’s favorite novels?”

Spc. Chris Kurth knew the answer he’d give wouldn’t earn him any brownie points.

But he’d accompanied his wife to a marriage seminar. Hadn’t that earned him enough to last for a while?

“She wants to start to read,” he said as he looked at his wife, Mykael Kurth, with an irritated grin.

She wasn’t amused.

“He only says that because he bought me ‘Hunger Games’ and I got to chapter three and decided to watch the movie,” Mykael Kurth said.

As troops return from Afghanistan this month, Fort Carson is working to ensure couples have a happy homecoming. Marriage classes are part of a larger program to reintegrate families.

The Kurths were one of two couples recently attending “Intimate Allies,” an Army Community Service-sponsored marriage workshop held at Fort Carson.

The tiny class size allowed both couples to interact with workshop leader Ken Robinson throughout the day and share results of exercises like The Gottman Love Map.

The “map” is a 62-question exercise similar to “The Newlywed Game” in which spouses predict their partners’ answers to questions on everything from what turns them on to their ambitions in life.

“What is your favorite flower?” asked Robinson, a Fort Carson family advocacy program specialist.

Mykael Kurth figured her husband didn’t have one.

“It’s mums,” Chris Kurth said in a hurt tone.

“You like those?” she asked. “They look weird.”

Predicting a partner’s answers is a fun way for couples to get reacquainted after a deployment or years of drifting apart, Robinson said.

“They get so busy with life that they don’t know each other very well anymore,” he said.

Throughout the day Robinson guided the couples through several similar exercises, including an attachment-style quiz and an intimacy-needs assessment.

As a list of needs like affection, appreciation and approval projected on a screen, Robinson asked the couples to predict the three their partner would list as most important.

Attention, encouragement and support were Mykael Kurth’s selections for her husband.

Chris Kurth couldn’t tell her if she was right or wrong.

He claimed he didn’t know his needs.

“This is where our problems are,” Mykael Kurth told Robinson with frustration in her voice. “I don’t understand him even though I read all these books and take all these assessments with him.”

Many couples who attend the Intimate Allies workshop are on the brink of collapse, Robinson said.

“A lot of people in these classes are close to divorce or in a rut because they never bonded enough,” he said. “ ‘Deployments cause divorce’ is a huge myth. It’s not that. Couples that are deeply committed before they deploy do much better.

“It’s the couples that are already in trouble who struggle the most with deployments and divorce.”

After asking participants to rate their marriage on a scale of one to 10, Robinson said the key to marital growth isn’t necessarily taking a marriage from a three to a 10.

“It may be going from a three to a three and a half,” he said.

After the workshop, Mykael Kurth said she and her husband hoped to apply what they’d learned to their marriage, which she rated as “not below a five.”

The military doesn’t make newlywed life any easier, she said.

The couple, married just over a year and a half, spent their first year apart as Chris Kurth, 26, served in Afghanistan and Mykael Kurth, 22, finished college in Virginia.

For Chris Kurth, it isn’t being in a military marriage that’s so tough.

It’s being in a marriage in general.

“I thought it was just going to be smooth sailing,” he said. “I thought I was just going to do my thing at work and then come home, but it’s a lot of effort.”

Navy Petty Officer 2nd Class Alexander McCreary, 30, and his wife, Kandii, 28, attended the workshop to perform some “maintenance” on their marriage.

“We’re always looking for ways to be even closer,” said Alexander McCreary, who has been married to his wife for nearly four years.

Alexander McCreary was assigned to Fort Carson’s Navy Operational Support Center in July.

For the McCrearys, the landlocked duty station means no time apart while Alexander McCreary is out to sea, a new concept for the couple.

Every Friday night is date night for the McCrearys. After the workshop, the couple planned to start dating on Saturdays, too, so they could complete a 12-week marriage enrichment plan introduced by Robinson.

As Alexander McCreary left The Hub on a Friday afternoon, he said he planned to take his wife out Saturday to Black Bear Coffee.

“She’s probably going to be all for that,” he said while smiling at her.

She smiled back.

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TIPS FROM KEN ROBINSON

• Be transparent with your spouse. If this is a tough concept for you, “little by little, peel back layers,” Robinson said.

• When your spouse is being vulnerable with you, consider his or her feelings before you respond.

• Spend time bonding with each other. Levels of dopamine, a feel-good chemical in the brain, are high during the first two years of marriage, but those levels won’t last forever.

• Encourage your spouse by telling him or her one or two things he or she does well.

• Don’t abandon physical non-sexual touch, which reduces stress levels and helps spouses bond.

Chris and Mykael Kurth listen to workshop leader Ken Robinson during an “Intimate Allies” workshop in November at Fort Carson. The Kurths signed up for the workshop to improve their marriage. They realized they have much to learn about one another and successful marriages hinge on partners making time for themselves and each other. (Erin Prater, The Gazette) Photo by

Chris and Mykael Kurth have been apart for much of their 18-month-marriage. They are learning to reconnect in an “Intimate Allies” workshop at Fort Carson. (Erin Prater, The Gazette) Photo by

Chris and Mykael Kurth embrace during an exercise meant to reacquaint couples with nonsexual physical touch. Touch helps relieve stress. (Erin Prater, The Gazette) Photo by