Andrea Carlile didn’t notice the toll that eight months in Iraq took on her husband when he returned to Fort Carson in 2003.Wesley Carlile never spoke of the numerous memorial services he helped prepare overseas. He expended no words on his best friend, who was killed when a Chinook helicopter was shot down.He stayed quiet. Then he broke.The pain Andrea Carlile experienced as her husband’s battle with post-traumatic stress disorder raged for years became the focus of a new book she released in July titled “The War That Came Home.”The book — her first — chronicles her family’s struggles as Wesley Carlile became increasingly violent several years after his time in Iraq with the 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment, which deployed from Fort Carson during the invasion of Iraq in 2003.Andrea Carlile said the book was written to show other military families that post-traumatic stress disorder affects more than just soldiers deployed to warzones.“We were hoping that it might help someone else who is going through the same thing,” she said.The “repressed” symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder in her husband emerged slowly, she said.Several years after the deployment, her husband began having nightmares, followed by stress-ridden sleepless nights. After three months, he became more controlling and finally began hitting her inside their Anderson, Ind., home, she said.At this point, he had already been out of the Army — which he’d left in 2004 — and out of the Air Force reserve, which he joined soon after his time at Fort Carson.His battle with post-traumatic stress disorder reached a tipping point in 2010 when Andrea Carlile said Wesley pulled out a handgun and loaded it.“He handed it to me and told me take my own life,” Andrea Carlile said. “That was obviously the breaking point.”Andrea Carlile sought a restraining order, and the two filed for divorce. He started undergoing therapy while she began attending domestic violence counseling. The experience left her feeling helpless.“The biggest thing was he was so different so I didn’t know quite how to deal with the change in him,” she said.The years since that violent night in 2010 have helped mend their wounds — both physical and mental. They dismissed their divorce — which had yet to be fully processed — and he began to work on repairing his relationship with their two children.As Andrea Carlile wrote the book, she offered her husband a chance to offer his perspective. He accepted, and the book contains a chapter written by him.In writing, the family has found an outlet to work through the painful memories.“For the first time, we’re talking about what happened in Iraq now,” Andrea Carlile said. “It was very healing, for both of us.”—Contact Jakob Rodgers: 476-1654Twitter @jakobrodgersFacebook Jakob Rodgers

“The War That Came Home” by Andrea Carlile. Photo by