By Tricia Tennesen

Leo Tolstoy wrote, “If you feel pain, you are alive. If you feel other people’s pain, you are a human being.” I am a human being. One who loves to read, which places me deeply into others’ minds, often empathizing with their struggles and fears.

During the COVID-19 masking, the Mr. and I walked across a parking lot with our masks on. A man drove past, paused, speaking through his downed window, “You must be one of those f…ing woke liberals.

Who does this?

Now I’m not sure if we are or not, but I know that at the time I was caring for my eighty-eight-year-old mother, and our thirty-something-year-old son-in-law was losing his battle with stage four colon cancer. We wore masks for them and all those compromised humans. If this makes us woke liberals, I take it as a blessing.

On Christmas, as we were preparing dinner. The Mr. took out the trash, taking our dog along. Our neighbor had family visiting, along with two dogs who love nothing more than running up and down the fence between our yards, barking and jumping. Our dog joined in running along the fence because, well, that’s what dogs do. The Mr. reached to grab our dog’s collar as one of their dogs jumped up onto the top of the fence and bit the Mr. on the arm. Twelve puncture wounds.

We didn’t dare go into their yard, so my husband called, leaving a message saying that their dog had bitten him and asking for proof of rabies. He then whistled, nothing. Eventually, two women came to our door. Their faces reeked of anger, fidgety, like boxers before a fight. They asked what happened and then called my husband a f…ing liar, saying they were going to turn us in for having a vicious dog and telling us, “You are F…ing S…H… neighbors.”

Upon reflection, I asked myself what my response would have been if my dog had bitten someone. Naturally, I would have apologized repeatedly, asked if this human needed me to take them to a doctor, searched to locate proof of rabies, and slept very little out of concern for the victim.

When and why did we become cruel? As a nation, have we lost our way, taking on bullying as the answer rather than negotiation or understanding? We must realize that our egos serve as cover for our emotions, which will scream, bully, and lie their way ahead of character. Character requires insight into others and yourself, along with much contemplation.

One must learn what motivates such behavior. It requires work. Developing kindness and integrity is not easy. If you are cruel, give yourself a little talking-to, apologize, and try again. You never want to be nearing the end of life and realize the harm you have caused others out of fear, bigotry, or hatred. Open your heart, for a deaf heart can never recognize the value of kindness.