In late July, Colorado Springs police arrested a burglary suspect who was found sleeping in the victim’s bed when law enforcement arrived.

Officers responded to calls about a burglary in progress at a residence in the 1600 block of Zebulon Drive, just west of South Academy Boulevard. When they arrived at the home, they found a man asleep in the victim’s bedroom, police said.

There’s no word yet on if he also ate their porridge.

When Goldilocks did the same thing, not only were we sympathetic to her; we went on to retell the tale to our children. Despite the invasion of their home, the bears are the villains.

Apparently, we don’t believe that Bear Lives Matter.

It’s eerily familiar of California’s attitude about the state’s rampant crime. Blame the victim.

That begs the question, which other childhood tales have a less than savory message? What would a modern headline be if these things actually happened?

• Little Red Riding Hood made a through-the-woods trip to deliver goodies to grandma. Upon arrival, she finds a wolf impersonating granny.

Modern headline: Home invader accosts child, grandmother still missing

• Jack trades the family cow for magic beans. The beans grow into a giant beanstalk. After a Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum adventure, Jack escapes with some treasure and kills the giant by chopping down the beanstalk as the giant chases him.

Modern headline: Local gardener under investigation for theft, manslaughter

• Ducklings laugh at one of their peers, saying she is ugly. When she grows up, she sees her reflection and realizes that she looked different because she actually wasn’t a duck at all. She was a beautiful swan.

Modern headline: Body-shamed youth grows up to be supermodel

• Lost deep in the forest, Hansel and Gretel discover a house made of gingerbread and candy and begin eating. The house belongs to a witch, whose plan to devour them is foiled.

Modern headline: Elderly woman’s home vandalized by juvenile delinquents

• Three little pigs build houses of straw, sticks and bricks. When a wolf comes around, he huffs and puffs and blows down the first two houses.

Modern headline: City building code to be amended following windstorm

• Cinderella’s life changes when she attends a prince’s ball with the help of her fairy godmother. She leaves at midnight, leaving behind a glass slipper, which the prince uses to search for her. When he finds the girl whose foot fits in the slipper, he marries her.

Modern headline: Prince Charles marries Camilla Parker Bowles

• A princess gets cursed by an old fairy and sleeps for a hundred years, as does the rest of her kingdom. At the end of the century, she’s awakened by a prince, who frees her with a kiss.

Modern headline: Woman wakes from long coma after man make uninvited advance #metoo

• A prince wants to marry a real princess. To test his potential brides, he hides a pea beneath twenty mattresses because only a real princess could feel it. One suitor says she couldn’t sleep because of the hard object in her bed, so the prince marries her.

Modern headline: Girl’s complaints bankrupts mattress company

• A girl loves her new red shoes so much that she wears them to church, which is against the rules. Because of her focus on her shoes, she’s cursed to dance in them forever.

Modern headline: Girl violates dress code, forced to compete in dance offs

• A man owns a goose that lays golden eggs. Soon the man gets impatient because the goose only lays one egg a day, and he’s greedy for more. He decides to cut the goose open and take the golden eggs right out of its belly. The dead goose never lays eggs again.

Modern headline: Man loses his 401K after investing in cryptocurrency

• A poor shoemaker is unable to keep his business afloat. One day, he goes to bed and wakes up to find a pair of new shoes in his workroom. He finds out that elves are making shoes for him.

Modern headline: Undocumented cobblers exploited by local businessman

• A vain emperor hires a tailor to make him a new suit. The tailor tricks him by giving him empty air and telling him it’s a suit made of cloth only stupid people can’t see. Because nobody wants to admit they’re stupid, everyone pretends they can see the suit and compliments the emperor. Only a child is innocent enough to point out that the emperor isn’t wearing clothes at all.

Modern headline: Man says kid, cops are ‘stupid’ after arrest for indecent exposure